| Family Violence
The Texas Family Code, section 71.004 defines Family Violence as "an act by a member of a family or household against another member that is intended to result in physical harm, bodily injury, assault, sexual assault, or a threat that reasonably places the member in fear of imminent physical harm."
Anyone can be a victim. Family violence happens to people of all ages, races, and religions. It occurs in all areas of the community regardless of social, educational and economic levels of success.
- Jealousy
- Controlling behavior
- Quick involvement
- Unrealistic expectations
- Threats of violence
- Use of weapons and/or recent purchase of a weapon
- Isolation of victim
- Dependency upon victim
- Blames other for feelings or problems
- Any force during an argument
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- Hypersensitivity
- Cruelty to animals or children
- Breaking or striking objects
- Substance abuse
- Force in sex
- Verbal abuse
- Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde behavior
- Past battering
- Mental illness or threats of suicide
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Often people ask why family violence victims stay. Some of the reasons she stays are because she feels it is her duty to stay; her religion tells her to stay; society tells her to stay; she wants her children to have a father; she is isolated and doesn't have support; she becomes clinically depressed because of the abuse; she may start "self-medicating" by abusing alcohol or drugs; she believes his threats that he will harm her, her children, or her family; she is economically dependant; she is an immigrant and he is her sponsor or he has lied to her about the laws of our country; he says he'll take her children away from her; and sometimes she loves him and wants to believe him when he says he'll change.
He batters her because it works; he can control her. He's so insecure and has low self-esteem that he feels he must control her or she'll leave him. He is terrified of being left and his fear is expressed with rage and violence. His ego is fragile. His use of alcohol and drugs amplifies his violence. He never learned to take responsibility for his actions or problems. Society still gives messages that it is acceptable for men to control women. No one has ever made him accountable for his violence. He may have a mental illness that makes it difficult for him to control himself. He may feel badly about his violence; he may not. Stress (financial, job, etc) is not the cause of the violence, but it can make it worse. He saw his father do it; or he saw his mother get beaten; or he was beaten as a child. He feels powerless. He never learned that violence is a choice and he is not convinced there are other choices.
- Myth: Only a few people are affected by domestic violence.
Fact: Every year approximately 1,500 women in the U.S. die at the hands of the ones who profess to love them. Not only are women and men involved, but also children, family, friends, and neighbors. If we add "community costs" such as health care, insurance, school programs, and civil and criminal justice expenditures, everyone is affected and everyone pays.
- Myth: Battered women can always leave.
Fact: The most dangerous time for a battered woman is when she tries to leave. It is not true that leaving the relationship will stop the violence. Batterers are likely to stalk the women who leave them - often making good on their threat. The point of separation is the most likely time for the batterer to kill the woman, the children, and himself.
- Myth: Batterers and women who are battered are lower-class, minority, uneducated people with few social or job skills.
Fact: Battering occurs across all socio-economic lines, all races, ethnicities, education levels, ages, religions, and all sexual orientations. It is an equal-opportunity crime.
- Myth: Stress, drugs, alcohol, etc, cause violence.
Fact: Stress, drugs, and alcohol do not cause violence. Battering is caused by a person who chooses to use violence. That person has learned from the culture and interpersonal relations to use violence. Many people who experience stress, drink alcohol, or utilize drugs do not use violence.
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